3rd December 2013
Hi. I am finally homed yesterday so home sweet home malaysia! it was an exhausting week but I totally had fun. And I didn't expect that the weather is like too cold so I were freezing there the entire day haha. So where were I? I think that don't matter but it has some cool places which made me feel like a kid again. just kidding. But it feels great to travel and observing a country again. I didn't go with a tour group I go by myself with my family it's like a private tour which we have our own tour guide and they provide a car and bring us everywhere. But some distracting things happened in the middle of my vacation. But everythings fine now I just try to not think about it much but still, it stressen me out. But overall I had fun and I was happy cause I rarely gone for a vacation because my parents are usually busy. Hopefully theres more happiness next year. Oh gosh I have already miss those fun times now. Can I go back? Sigh
So, yesterday night was confusing. I don't know what the hell is happening. I came home, amazing how I received text from him telling me he hates me and everythings changed with a blink of an eye. I mean tell me who doesn't sad when the one who had promise everything from the start ended up leave and change without any words. You need me or you don't? I don't get some people yang dah tak sayang but they won't admit but then being different and changing and made people curious macam tu je. Kenapa heartless sangat. If you don't love anymore why give high hopes? kalau sayang cakap sayang and obviously kalau sayang you don't have to change everything and trying to leave or anything right. Whats your point actually? I never through this tbh and of course it hurts a lot for me. It feels like my heart is burning. I never really felt this way before and never being too serious about relationship. And I never thought it would be this hard. Now that I believe that peoples change although they said they don't. Perhaps I was trusting him too much that everything went disappointment. But I dont know I am at that point where I will leave it all to Allah. If he's my jodoh then we will be together even the world is ending if he is not mine then we will seperate even how hard I have begged or tried. What else can I do? People come and go. Thats it. I have to think further now or else I will stuck in sadness for forever. I'm just confused and I need to know the truth...